Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
