I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
