i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
