your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's the barista slut.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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