I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
