But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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