how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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