What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
