apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
