I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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