so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
