New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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