Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
