I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
