Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
