is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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