I would go down on you faster than GM stock
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
