kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
