even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm too high and old for this...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
