11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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