Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
