First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
