It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
