i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is Oprah even human
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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