where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
