Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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