i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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