Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
