i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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