Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
