i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
