The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
