Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
