I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
