I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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