Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
