I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
