i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
