Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
