Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
