i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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