just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
