What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
