We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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