It's Friday. Sex?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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