I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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