dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
