he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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