I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
be right there i have to get my cape
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
