So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
