Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
