I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
