Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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